Karen Baton battled pancreatic cancer for the last eight months of her life.  She lost the battle.

On Tuesday June 9th Karen passed on and left us all behind.  I miss her.

I met her at Ocean Stained Glass on March 4, 2008.  Turns out we were destined to meet – it was like meeting an old friend.  She was happy and sunshiney.  She laughed and she loved – and she was loved.       by many.

It’s bittersweet.  I met the love of my life thru Karen and Karen’s stained glass studio.  She encouraged me when I asked her if I should call this guy in class and ask him out!  I did.  She was happy and me?   Oh, I’m very happy.  He’s everything I dreamed of.

And now my friend is not around to share this blessing with us.   But you are not forgotten my friend because you live in our hearts.  We will think of you and toast to you and talk with you often.

Wherever you are Karen, I know you are laughing and smiling and making the people around you happy too!

Farewell my friend.

and you better watch out…mama is packing heat.  This is my new Barbie colored BB Gun!  Jealous?

Karen & Leo, Harold & Ladonna

It was my first year at the Seal Beach Christmas parade.  Ocean Stained Glass – our alma mater – was holding a Holiday Open House.  Good food.  Good drinks.  Good friends.

What more can you ask for?

and that is just what I’m doing tomorrow at approximately 11:15am PST.

 The weather is finally changing.  It gives me mixed feelings.  Melancholy comes over me as I bundle up.  I love the crisp mornings.  A fire in the fireplace.  But there is something in the change of the seasons that makes me sad.  We don’t get a dramatic change of the seasons here…not often.  It usually feels like summer all year ’round.  But this year is different.  Overnight it’s cold.

I think its just that mark of time, of a season passing us by, and it makes me sad.  It’s a rush of seasonal holidays that is probably the most stressful.

But I’m a winter baby… I love the cold and the snow.  I love being inside on a frosty day and just knowing you are safe and warm…and loved, makes it all good.

It’s a 3-day weekend for me.  Wow, how exciting!  So here’s what I’ve got planned….

Clean out my folks bedroom. 

Clean out the crap under the bed and lower the bed to make it easier for them to get in & out of. 

Measure and install a grab bar in the bedroom. 

Install the Intercom system that I bought over a month ago but my Dad hasn’t done anything with yet!

Oh, then there is the yard.  The tree was removed yesterday but there is plenty to do before (and after) the new Fence is installed.  So gosh… I have like all day Sunday that I could work in the yard.

And the Airstream sits in the driveway.  and my bears remain undone.

I am a Caregiver.  This is not a job I applied for.  It’s not even on my resume.  Family caregiving isn’t something you plan to do.  You can’t schedule it in when you are ready to perform the tasks.

Bob got sick.  He was alone.  I was there.  No questions, no decisions.  It’s odd that while I had never given any prior thought to being his caregiver when the situation arose, there was no decision – it was a natural instinct.

My family is very close.  We would never give any serious thought to placing someone in a home to spend the rest of their days…not without trying, not without being there at all times.

My caregiving role ended when Bob passed away.  He suffered only a short while from lung cancer.  I was devastated.  I miss him everyday.

My mother is sick.  She’s not alone, but my 80-year old father isn’t completely up to the task.  I am a Caregiver again.   So this is a role we play in life.  It comes and goes.  You step up or bow out I suppose.  and its not without anguish and stress…

 http://www.4woman.gov/FAQ/caregiver.htm

I wanted to keep track today of what I googled.  I’m sure it would make interesting conversation….problem is – I’m bored AND limited by Information Security at WDS.  So there were a number of things I couldn’t see …like when does Hell’s Kitchen start up again?!  I checked the google & CNN news about a 100 times today.  In addition I googled:

news on Chevy dealers

Hell’s Kitchen

American Idol

quasar

beets

Quartzsite Arizona

Phoenix Arizona

jobs for the low-sighted

Alabama school for the blind

VDI

WAN acceleration

My eyes are beet red today.  This lack of sleeping thing is getting to be a drag.  I try in vain (because its mostly vanity!) to wear my contact lens – but my eyes disagree.  They think the glasses are the best choice for me.

I try to rest my eyes.  I let them breath.  But just an hour of contact lens sucking on to my irises…. beet red again.

I used to be addicted to Visene.  That stuff is THE SHIT.  But the damn doctor said that its really bad for my eyes.

I admit … I mistreat my eyes.  And they are one of my most favorite things.  Now what kind of self flagellation is this?

Or was it a dingo stole my baby… I always get that one wrong.  But then who cares, not many people remember that story anyway.